No Grown Ups are Coming to Save the Day

March’s series of blogs called “Clearing Negative Patterns” has been inspired by  excerpts from Coventry Magic by Jacki Smith.   

Just to recap: For 2015, we are dedicating ourselves to unleashing your personal power. Since this is no overnight task, we have broken it down month by month. March, we talk about what it takes to break negative patterns that keep you stuck.  Last week we acknowledged that habits are very challenging to actually break and how to even start that process. This week we talk about accepting personal responsibility in your own destiny.  Each Thursday, there will be a new instalment about breaking these habits and clearing negative energy.  These blogs are really just a summary of the real exercises found in Coventry Magic by Jacki Smith, for more detailed explanation, I recommend checking out the entire book.

No Grown Ups Are Coming to Save the Day!

There are many stressful aspects about growing up. All the hormones!  All the angst!  You are discovering who you are and laying out the foundations of your belief systems and really establishing your path. So there, for the record, I have acknowledged that being a child is tough.  That being said, the thing about being a child that is hard to let go of is the bubble of people and attitudes that surround you and protect you. You can blame others and look for help when things are really tough.  Really everyone expects you to do so as well.  I am 31 years old  and I still find it difficult to not go looking for a grown up to help me solve my problems. I look to my mom or to my husband to make the badness go away.

Jacki calls this more than a negative pattern, she calls this sabotage.  We go into something hoping to fail so that we can blame it on others.  People who are against you or didn’t care enough.  Her solution to this is a combination of personal work and reflection to get to the bottom of this fear along with cleansing tools to help you break up your routines and shake off old habits.  Start with confronting this idea that someone else has a responsibility to help you. It really sucks, but unfortunately it isn’t always guaranteed. You can’t move forward if you are standing still so that someone can swoop in and do it for you.  It is always wonderful when others help and work on solutions to your issues, but that has got to be seen as a bonus to the actions and responsibilities you are going to take in working on your own life. This includes the decision to let certain people continue to be in your life, what you decide to spend your money on, what can you live with, what can’t you live without.

I find the more I accept responsibility for the results of decisions I have made, the easier I can come up with a plan to resolve it. What you have clear ideas on what you need to move forward. That is when you can approach others for help, be it for inspiration, for advice or a request. Knowing that they will do all they can and even if that isn’t enough, that is still ok too.

Personal note from Monica:  Later this month, I will share some of Jacki’s favorite cleansing rituals to help and start the process of breaking up these unhealthy pass the buck patterns.